Starting Over. Two words that scared the shit out me, because I was afraid of what may happen. I never actually realized how "comfortable" I had become in my "situation" until I wanted to pull away from it. And trust me, it hasn't been easy. I've known for a while that I wanted to create a blog. Knew what I wanted to call it, how I wanted to start it, and what topics I would want to focus on. But I never found the courage to sit down, start typing, and watch it manifest before my eyes. Like I said I became “comfortable”.
Trying to convert from a life in the fast lane, I bounced through numerous jobs, had a son, started school, and stayed in an emotional and mentally draining relationship. All because I was "comfortable". It was good to have someone to depend on regardless of the situation. And it felt “comforting” to have someone to take care of me to keep me focused in school. But now that I am ready step out on my own, I'm terrified of what lies ahead. Amazingly, that same terrified feeling is what led me to build courage, sit down, and start typing.
I want to start to shed what "comfortable" feels like, and start taking chances. Hopefully, NiquesCritiques will help me along my journey, and my reader’s follow me as well. Let’s start being open about situations and experiences, and discuss many of the issues we face in life. For years, I have lived my life for everyone else except the person I live for: myself. For years, I have let people tell me the way I should live my life. And for years, I nipped and tucked all my desires for the sake of other people's feelings. And I'm done. When I was younger, although naive, I was adventurous, spontaneous, and took risk that people think so negatively of, but I was happy. So now that I'm older, and I'm ready to make yet another change I think back to when I lived my life for myself.
The confidence that we build knowing that we can do something on our own is amazing, and it’s sad that so many of us get stuck in the situations that can ultimately tear our confidence apart. I often wonder what keeps us so "comfortable" in a situation that makes us so unhappy. Complaining every chance we get to anyone who will listen. Why do we continue to allow the fear of taking risks keep us from fulfilling some of our deepest desires? I challenge you to discuss being “comfortable” and how that one word haunts us all. Critiques anyone?
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ReplyDeleteThat was well said. The most interesting thing is I've known you for a decade + now & I feel like I've learned more about you from your first blog than ever. People stay in Comfortable Mode for so long because of fear or they make excuses for while their still in the same situation that they swore they'd leave years ago. I'm happy for you for leaving now NEVER look back. I left comfortable in 07' . Leaving everything I knew (Atlanta, Dropped out of College, friends ,family) to become a Model Scout & moved to FLA. In the beginning I had plenty of "what ifs" but I've been happy ever since .
ReplyDeleteGood shyt, and definitely real ma.
ReplyDeleteThanks @Teddy. I really appreciate the support. I hope this is the first post of many where you can get to learn the woman I have become. I think of you and admire your courage to go out on limb and look how you have succeeded. I hope life continues to take you down the road of success. It's amazing the excuses we find ourselves making for terrible decisions we keep choosing. Being comfortable can definitely be harmful. I'm glad we both realized it. And your right, a person must NEVER look back.
ReplyDeleteEnjoyed it! Keep it coming. Your a special kind of person just as everyone is but what sets you out is you always learn from all situations and you dont stay in one space long. I've always admired that about you. Congrats.
ReplyDeletewelll said...
ReplyDeleteI definitely enjoyed it, it was deep thoughtful and interesting.
ReplyDeleteGiver is a word to describe you and your actions. Are you a natural at giving? Sometimes we must must be more insightful on who we give of ourselves. I can imagine of lot of what you've done to protect others and their feelings in the past was unappreciated and undeserved. It is great to have the courage to move out of your "Comfort Zone!" I know your situation well. I am the most spontaneous person I know. Taking risks is not always easy or smart once you have a child. As you ascend into another lane, you will need some support. You made an excellent choice to live for Domonike and not for the sake of others. You'll end up happier in the long run. What's so important about your decision is that those so called friends you sacrificed yourself for are incapable and unwilling to do the same for you! You really touched on a subject that affects many of us. I recently moved out of a situation. I tried to become comfortable being in a situation that wasn't good for me. I lost myself in someone else's life that didn't deserve my presence. I stayed there because I liked the thought of others knowing I lived in Buckhead. I guess I even liked saying it as well. In trying to impress others, I'm sure I didn't impress anyone at all. Who Does That? "You can take me out the Ghetto, but you can't take the Ghetto out of Me!" In being COMFORTABLE, it seems like I lost alot of my livelihood, personality and self confidence in the process. I've always been a self starter and I might of lost that as well. Its funny how we can be in a situation and stay comfortable in it because we're more worried about the other party's feelings than our own! In order to be successful in becoming less comfortable some tough changes most occur. We must be willing to change our friends who are still comfortable in uncomfortable circumstances. The value of your life can be seen in your five closest acquaintances. Are the people in your circle as driven or more driven than you? If not, Change is definitely Necessary! I wish you well in your New "Skin!"
ReplyDeleteSincerely and Respectfully,
"DJ"
I think you hit the nail with this one,I have seen many sides of you and I think that all the things that we go through it's with good attentions I don't anyone make a decision and say this decision is what I have to deal with for the next so many years of my life. I think we accpect things we shouldn't to make someone else happy, and when we get sick and tired of being treated and doing things we don't want to do anymore that is when a light go off in our heads, then we have to go through a rebuild stage of ourself cause we are so use to living one way we have to find our way. I like that living for me and doing what I want sounds oh so good to me. Don't care what someone else say, don't care what someone else think, just doing me.
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